Observations from Lindsay

Two hikers I spoke with told me they find joy in every step and that their blisters simply remind them of how lucky they are to be out here.
Now I enjoy the challenge of pushing my body and mind and the rewarding feeling I have at the end of a long day, but I'm calling bullshit. First off, my feet hurt so much deeper than the 7 or 8 blisters that cover them. This comes from a girl who has walked on fire. My tendons, muscles, fascia, and bones ache in a way I didn't know was possible. I sometimes wonder if I would have an orgasm or punch someone in the face if they touched my tender soles.
Don't get me wrong, I am happy I set out on this journey. But I will never be one of those hikers. Like Pan (formerly Chico Bill) says, "this is hard. This is really, really hard." On a bad day, I literally have to count my steps to continue on. Every 200 steps I allow myself a sip of water. On an OK day, my reward is a snack bar if I can go just 5 more miles. And on an excellent day, I'm only focused on the goal of the next town. 80 miles is equivalent to a shower and the possibility of laundry. I hardly ever think of Canada anymore.
Then there's the times my body feels great and my brain won't stop reeling. It has so much time to think and all of those thoughts, feelings, questions, and streamings of pop culture can be exhausting. I catch myself wishing for the pain to come back so all I have to focus on is meditating on one part of my body. Then, it actually does come back and I realize what an absolutely stupid wish I made.
Some hikers, like our new friend Captain Kristy, meander through the miles with a nonchalant attitude that amazes me. "Canada's not going anywhere" is a common phrase used on the trail. Canada might not be moving it's border anytime soon, but the snow monster will be eating us alive if we don't get our butts in gear.
Amigo, another thru-hiker, told me you never quit the trail in a town or until you have 3 consecutive bad days. I said my rule is to never quit and he asked "what's the point of being out here if we're not having fun?" Well good sir, I might not know what the point is just yet but I would cry myself to sleep every night before sucking up my pride and going home.
These encounters make me realize I should probably work on my all or nothing attitude and maybe learn to unwind a bit more. Although, they say if you can see one beautiful thing a day through the difficulty and fatigue, it's worth it. That hasn't been a problem, so I suppose I must be doing something right.